The Unsinkable brian cork™

Brian Patrick Cork is living the Authentic Life

there is always an Aftermath

February24

non bloody aftermath

Brandon found evidence of massive snow battle.

apparently no survivors.

but, no zombies either. so, that’s probably good.

mind you… another storm is on it’s way.

the really good news is my new rig will have the winch mounted this week.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

The Jeep Wrangler is the new Porsche 911

August25

corks big bad ass Jeepthe Jeep has turned-out to be a bit transformational.

it’s all part of being ready.

I am now part of a “culture”. it involves the special Jeep “wave”. maybe that’s a sub-culture. if you’re not part of it I suspect it’s viewed as a subversive culture due to one of the fact that it’s exclusionary, by definition.

JEEP actually stands for “just-empty-each-pocket” because there is a lot you can do to make your “rig” more cool.

oddly, but not really, I don’t mind careening down the road in the rain getting wet because I can’t be bothered with the full top, because the bikini top makes the rig so much more striking, and Jeeps air out and dry quickly. its a Jeep.

that said I’m exploring options for a “pop-top” version of a hard-top. I think I’ve found a solution that was part of someone else’s efforts that failed. I’m trying to get my hands on a mold that I believe I can then get into the hands of a dude that used to shape surf boards for me. if this all plays-out like I’m hoping, I’m in the Jeep aftermarket business.

meanwhile, I often meet about a dozen executives, and leaders by any definition on a weekend morning at my Starbucks (its also referred to as “Corks SBUX in this neck of the woods). we are generally in agreement that the 4-Door Jeep Wrangler is the “new Porsche 911”. in fact, over the past three weeks, four more have appeared in the SBUX parking lot. we are an insufferable lot. several of them want to invest in the hard-top concept. stay tuned.

in any event, I refuse to put a “Life is Good” sticker or rear wheel cover on the rig. however, I will likely place something VERY goofy sticker on it like “Zombie Hunter” (surely you are  fully aware that I’m distracted with the whole zombie apocalypse thing : https://www.unsinkablebriancork.com/2013/08/04/not-all-zombies-are-real-or-good/).

I bought a three foot axe to keep in the Jeep in the event of an zombie attack.

seriously.

…well… kindjeeps can roll over porsches of seriously. I’m also keeping myself quite fit (I bragged to Tom Lech last night at The Union Restaurant that I ran six miles and biked forty yesterday) in the event I simply need to run like hell (but also called into action for one of The Expendables movies).

it should be noted, so, I’ll do it here, that zombies are the best imaginary enemy because they let you indulge in psychotic fantasies while still pretending to be the good guy. you’re not a demented serial killer, you HAVE to slaughter your way through the crowds of people you see every day! except they’re all brain-damaged and incapable of teamwork! that’s less sporting than an ice hockey team versus a figure skater, and even more fun. but it’s only fun because, like all daydreams, you only imagine the good bits. very few people daydream about their own failures and pointless unnoticed deaths (and those that do are safely channeled into reality TV).

by the way…

don’t use Kung Fu when faced with the inevitable zombie(s), or youth sport parent mob:

Why it’s awesome:

anyone who doesn’t enjoy a Resident Evil movie is an idiot, because they knew exactly what they were getting into before they watched it. the movies’ mission statement is “Milla Jovovich improbably kicks all zombie ass,” and they stay so true to that statement they even have her kick zombies to death despite that being stupid and impossible. this is because in the Resident Evil world those are both synonyms for awesome.

for example, Milla goes up against a dead security officer armed with only a cocktail dress. her first response is to shove both her bare fists at its biting mouth, then leap two meters straight up and jam her leg in there too.

either she’s trying to confuse its mind by giving it too many limbs to choose from, or she’s forgotten that Milla doing splits only stuns living men. luckily we’re more than five minutes into a Resident Evil movie by this point so physics has already given up and gone home – which is why the standing jump-kick shoves the zombie twice her mass five meters back (to death), instead of bouncing Milla off the door behind her into its open mouth.

But… Now you’re a zombie because:

if I have to explain why shoving your naked flesh into a zombie’s face is a bad idea, go right ahead. your intelligence is so low you’d slow even them down, giving the rest of us more time to escape. so, now I’ve added my optimistic views of why the Laws of Natural Selection work for me. even an abrasion would have you “T-virused” and rotting, although Milla’s okay – the one thing the movie got right is how she’s a genetically superior being.

NOTE: I don’t care if you are confused by this deviation from Jeeps, how they relate to Porsche’s, into Zombie shit.

I figure if I’m sporting a Jeep and an axe, I’m in good form. I can run, I have really cool friends. most of us understand the Laws of Natural Selection, and we completely appreciate how it’s not really about zombies.

its more about being ready.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

not all Zombies are real or good

August4

Or… How only Brad Pitt can make a Zombie movie into a political grandstand.

seriously… not all zombies are good. this is probably more relative to movies.

I intentionally threw you off just like Marissa Mayer does with Yahoo!

…what ever… here is my point:

a few months ago I stunned, you, and collectively, with my brilliant insight(s) around Brad Pitt’s World War Z. read about that here: zombies are not the only Walking Dead do it!

…and, yes. I’m discussing zombies on a Sunday! try and be rational about this… zombies don’t care what day it is. its just always lunch time.

in some respects it’s pretty good. the movie is fun to watch. but, it was all about Brad’s character – whats his name. that’s not-so-good (…see? it inspired me to use the word “good” in successive sentences. it failed to inspire me). I still resent the fact that Pitt and his crew lifted the title of Max Brook’s book, lied to the rest of us, and made an entertaining motion picture.

Pitt’s version of World War Z can stand on its own merits. there is innovation that results in a thrill ride on the iMAX screen. that said, I deeply resent the notion of fast, and in this case really fast, zombies, because it tanks my entire thrival strategy (“thrival” because I plan to kick hellacious ass).

however, the Pitt adaption lost its greatest potential for my admiration once I understood it arrogantly dispensed with the original book’s central conceit. for me, the best part of Max Brook’s World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War is it’s faux journalistic approach that had its protagonist traveling the globe collecting realistic stories from survivors of the zombie pandemic that we could relate to, and genuinely care about. in fact, the audio book version is all the better (you can get it on Amazon or even iTunes). the voice actors bring to life images that even the Brad Pitt movie could never equal in terms of pathos and edge-of-your seat excitement. the tight narrative jumps between characters from the earliest days of the plague in China to a (not the) triumphant victory for North America in Yonkers New York. the separate stores weave to form a complete picture of how mankind adapts to the apocalypse and creates a new world that can never forget what brought it to the brink of extinction.

…oh yeah… so, Max Brooks makes us think of the Jewish nation with World War II. perhaps Pitt was trying to dance around that. however, he absolutely twisted and distorted the Jewish element into an utter fiasco. so, I believe that was intentional. he definitely avoided the whole China issue, and probably for purely commercial reasons.

meanwhile… read, better yet, listen tot he Max Brooks book. you get more for your money.

I like Brad Pitt. and, I appreciate how he leverages his fame and fortune as a philanthropist. but, when it come to Zombies, Pitt is Max Brooks’ bitch.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

zombies are not the only Walking Dead

March29

what do they (“they” defined as that shadowy globe controlling organization) know that you don’t?

zombie-eyes

you are warned…

we head into Easter weekend with our thinking through the course of events that led to His rising, and it’s anniversary Sunday. we understand He sacrificed his mortal body so He could be a great example of our collective, and greater potential. so, there is always that hope.

meanwhile… and, possibly grimly at the other end of the spectrum…

what do they (“they” defined as that shadowy globe controlling organization) know that you don’t [the secret series: in pursuit of They]?

zombies-ahead

the walking dead

so… the AMC television show, “The Walking Dead” is great.

not the flesh-eating monsters that eerily represent their prior existence… the show, itself.

world war Zbetter still, is the not less than brilliant and far-flung World War Z –  by Max Brooks. NOTE: go with the Audiobook. trust me on that one. do it!

mind you, the zombie theme remains a consistent favorite for TV and movie fans and in a few months the mother of all flicks in the genre – Brad Pitt’s World War Z – will hit theaters.

Pitt’s version of World War Z is more of an abomination than the ghouls themselves portrayed in his movie. in fact, the trailer makes me think in terms of “dead man walking”. In the film, Pitt portrays a United Nations crisis specialist battling a deadly zombie-creating pandemic in a bid to save humanity.

“The book focused on slow zombies. We chose to be more dynamic in that we wanted to base all of this on science. So it’s ‘What if we had them move like ants? Or a swarm of bees? Or birds or a school of fish that’s being chased?’ One of the first [questions] we asked was how to portray the zombies and how to do it differently because it’s been done so many times and been done pretty damn well. “This unprecedented threat comes along, and it’s going to end everything and everybody unless someone comes up with an answer.  The interesting thing is how different those answers are and the way those choices lead to power shifts and life-and-death consequences.” – Brad Pitt

that seems reasonable, I suppose. however, I wish he had made creative changes, as in license, with another story-line. In my view, Brook’s effort is sublime.

Max Brooks created a narrative story about society and the genuine human condition as it evolved through a historical event later known as “the Crisis”. the “Zombie War” came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors from those apocalyptic years, travels across the United States of America and throughout the world, from decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of thirty million souls to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet. he recorded the testimony of men, women, and sometimes children who came face-to-face with the living, or at least the undead, hell of that dreadful time. World War Z is the result. never before have we had access to a document that so powerfully conveys the depth of fear and horror, and also the ineradicable spirit of resistance, that gripped human society through the plague years.

however, Pitt makes the movie about the narrator himself. he completely lost the point of pathos that Brooks ingeniously engineered.

that said, where the two classic efforts vitally differ from other zombie faire is in the ultimate message. what is both cool and noteworthy through “The Walking Dead” and World War Z is how they manage to make zombies the back-story.

clever.

so are the efforts of…

the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (“CDC”) Office of Public Health Preparedness and Response Zombie Preparedness 

what do they (“they” defined as that shadowy globe controlling organization) know that you don’t?

in any event, I believe this is about the devolution of man or humankind when faced with the unimaginable. while some people rise up – just not as the reanimated dead [sic] – most others channel the abyss and literally lose their humanity through endless examples of depravity. they exchange their souls for a kind of survival. they lose their  way of life, and become literal dead men walking.

as most of you know, and now even more of you do, I coach youth Lacrosse. These kids are fifteen, fourteen and thirteen. they love zombie stuff. they eat it up. seriously. and, they would think me saying that was funny. hell… my wife would roll her eyes (so would both of my daughters), but the lads think their coach is hilarious. in any event, one of our assistant coaches, Jake, is a star on the reigning state high schiool championship Lacrosse team. we were discussing Dawn of the Dead, one of the zombie-fan-nation favorites al-la George Ramirez, himself. but, he had to make the point that if the zombie apocalypse came about he would forget the mall and head straight for Home Depot. “there is noting you can’t do once you have control of Home Depot“. You have all the tools (they can be weapons) you need. they even have hydroponics”.

absolute genius. there is hope for the latest generation yet. they are full of life, hope and promise.

let’s be grateful this weekend, for what we have, and can have. and, don’t be surprised if you see me strolling purposefully around Home Depot taking careful notes that have nothing to do with finishing basements.

by the way… remember what Hemingway said, “you can always defend Spain”.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

Special NOTE: Brooks is also the author of the determinedly straight-faced parody The Zombie Survival Guide (2003).

 

« Older Entries

What’s All This About?

"What am I looking at?", you might wonder.

Lots of stuff.

Meanwhile, here, I discuss events, people and things in our world - and, my (hardly simplistic, albeit inarticulate) views around them.

You'll also learn things about, well, things, like people you need to know about, and information about companies you can't find anywhere else.

So, while I harangue the public in my not so gentle way, you will discover that I am fascinated by all things arcane, curious about those whom appear religious, love music, dabble in politics, loathe the media, value education, still think I am an athlete, and might offer a recipe.

All the while, striving mightily, and daily, to remain a prudent and optimistic gentleman - and, authentic.

brian cork by John Campbell





photos by John Campbell

 

Share this Blog with friends or enemies (via Twitter). Do it!:

Twitter Updates

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Archives

Email Subscription

Linkedin

View Brian Cork's profile on LinkedIn

Categories



%d bloggers like this: