The Unsinkable brian cork™

Brian Patrick Cork is living the Authentic Life
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Life and Monty Python as the Lens … oh, and Kevin

July3

so… here’s the drill…

Darrah Bruestein is brilliant. she’s the type of young lady I THINK I want my own daughters to aspire. Darrah might make being under forty seem cool.

that said, we were exchanging emails over a work-related introduction and I was stunned (yes, stunned; and, therefore borderline flabbergasted) to learn she was fundamentally unaware of the “pinching heads” tactic made famous by the Monty Python (Flying Circus) troupe.

I explained it to her, thusly:

monty python Flying circus“It was a theme throughout the Monty Python skits (they went on for years). I THINK it was featured in the film, And Now for Something Completely Different. That film is not to be confused with another, The Life of Brian (however, for it’s perspective, you have to appreciate, “Life’s a piece of shit, once you think of it…”.).

Monty Python does not strike everyone as funny, just enlightened folk; or people that can ably point to The Young Ones (even more British comedy) and die from laughing due to lack of oxygen.

All that said, you can stand, or sit, at a distance and “pinch peoples little heads”. Its a control thing. It genuinely unnerves some people. Dogs also. Cats not so much. Our hamster Kevin could care less. He’s an insidious bastard, though. Don’t try it with chimpanzees. Seriously.”

I’ll note, here, that you’ve not lived until you have seen a fat hamster investigate a house from the inside of a plastic ball. every time I walk into the laundry room where we keep his habitat, I find him poised in the corner staring at me. I imagine all manner of schemes percolating in his little head behind those beady little eyes. I suspect Kevin might be a contrarian. someone needs to make a movie about such exploits. a blog is necessary, perhaps.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

listen to Her

March2

..and, another gift from Brandon and those Humans of New York (www.humansofnewyork.com).

“With all the good it’s brought, technology is destroying our communication skills — especially the ability to listen. The older generation can still listen, but many of the youngsters can’t even look you in the eye while you speak. If they aren’t looking at their mobiles, they’re looking over your shoulder or glancing around the room.”

Brandon (I’m guessing): “Why is verbal communication more important than communication through a device?”

“Because there’s only so much you can learn from your Facebook friends.”

from humands new york

wow… what a fantastic life’s perspective.

this has absolutely nothing to do with Spike Jonze’s recent Oscar crafty movie, Her. in fact, its clearly, delightfully, and thankfully, the opposite…

I’m convinced this woman is channeling my Mom.

by the way, I do feel that the movie, HER, is clever, and possibly insightful. it’s just that the good woman above is all the more so. and, that’s why me must listen to her.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

brian cork on Gravity

October10

nope… this post has almost nothing to dow with Sir Isaac Newton.

it has almost everything to do with two intrepid actors, George Clooney and Sandra Bullock. this might be lost on many viewers but the entire movie gets pulled-off with essentially just these two actors. that’s pretty dang cool and unusual. the whole movie is.

George has, what might be the role of a life-time. he gets to be urbane and witty as usual, but he also gets to be heroic and tragic. Sandra brilliantly demonstrates to young ladies around the globe (literally) that resourcefulness, courage, and grit can take you places.

so, with that said (and, despite my high regard for the film), I’ll share with you a goofy review of the movies pulled from The Onion. (too many people forget about The Onion. admit it.  you had.) just go watch the damn movie yourself. it’s worth each and every minute.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

The Jeep Wrangler is the new Porsche 911

August25

corks big bad ass Jeepthe Jeep has turned-out to be a bit transformational.

it’s all part of being ready.

I am now part of a “culture”. it involves the special Jeep “wave”. maybe that’s a sub-culture. if you’re not part of it I suspect it’s viewed as a subversive culture due to one of the fact that it’s exclusionary, by definition.

JEEP actually stands for “just-empty-each-pocket” because there is a lot you can do to make your “rig” more cool.

oddly, but not really, I don’t mind careening down the road in the rain getting wet because I can’t be bothered with the full top, because the bikini top makes the rig so much more striking, and Jeeps air out and dry quickly. its a Jeep.

that said I’m exploring options for a “pop-top” version of a hard-top. I think I’ve found a solution that was part of someone else’s efforts that failed. I’m trying to get my hands on a mold that I believe I can then get into the hands of a dude that used to shape surf boards for me. if this all plays-out like I’m hoping, I’m in the Jeep aftermarket business.

meanwhile, I often meet about a dozen executives, and leaders by any definition on a weekend morning at my Starbucks (its also referred to as “Corks SBUX in this neck of the woods). we are generally in agreement that the 4-Door Jeep Wrangler is the “new Porsche 911”. in fact, over the past three weeks, four more have appeared in the SBUX parking lot. we are an insufferable lot. several of them want to invest in the hard-top concept. stay tuned.

in any event, I refuse to put a “Life is Good” sticker or rear wheel cover on the rig. however, I will likely place something VERY goofy sticker on it like “Zombie Hunter” (surely you are  fully aware that I’m distracted with the whole zombie apocalypse thing : https://www.unsinkablebriancork.com/2013/08/04/not-all-zombies-are-real-or-good/).

I bought a three foot axe to keep in the Jeep in the event of an zombie attack.

seriously.

…well… kindjeeps can roll over porsches of seriously. I’m also keeping myself quite fit (I bragged to Tom Lech last night at The Union Restaurant that I ran six miles and biked forty yesterday) in the event I simply need to run like hell (but also called into action for one of The Expendables movies).

it should be noted, so, I’ll do it here, that zombies are the best imaginary enemy because they let you indulge in psychotic fantasies while still pretending to be the good guy. you’re not a demented serial killer, you HAVE to slaughter your way through the crowds of people you see every day! except they’re all brain-damaged and incapable of teamwork! that’s less sporting than an ice hockey team versus a figure skater, and even more fun. but it’s only fun because, like all daydreams, you only imagine the good bits. very few people daydream about their own failures and pointless unnoticed deaths (and those that do are safely channeled into reality TV).

by the way…

don’t use Kung Fu when faced with the inevitable zombie(s), or youth sport parent mob:

Why it’s awesome:

anyone who doesn’t enjoy a Resident Evil movie is an idiot, because they knew exactly what they were getting into before they watched it. the movies’ mission statement is “Milla Jovovich improbably kicks all zombie ass,” and they stay so true to that statement they even have her kick zombies to death despite that being stupid and impossible. this is because in the Resident Evil world those are both synonyms for awesome.

for example, Milla goes up against a dead security officer armed with only a cocktail dress. her first response is to shove both her bare fists at its biting mouth, then leap two meters straight up and jam her leg in there too.

either she’s trying to confuse its mind by giving it too many limbs to choose from, or she’s forgotten that Milla doing splits only stuns living men. luckily we’re more than five minutes into a Resident Evil movie by this point so physics has already given up and gone home – which is why the standing jump-kick shoves the zombie twice her mass five meters back (to death), instead of bouncing Milla off the door behind her into its open mouth.

But… Now you’re a zombie because:

if I have to explain why shoving your naked flesh into a zombie’s face is a bad idea, go right ahead. your intelligence is so low you’d slow even them down, giving the rest of us more time to escape. so, now I’ve added my optimistic views of why the Laws of Natural Selection work for me. even an abrasion would have you “T-virused” and rotting, although Milla’s okay – the one thing the movie got right is how she’s a genetically superior being.

NOTE: I don’t care if you are confused by this deviation from Jeeps, how they relate to Porsche’s, into Zombie shit.

I figure if I’m sporting a Jeep and an axe, I’m in good form. I can run, I have really cool friends. most of us understand the Laws of Natural Selection, and we completely appreciate how it’s not really about zombies.

its more about being ready.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

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What’s All This About?

"What am I looking at?", you might wonder.

Lots of stuff.

Meanwhile, here, I discuss events, people and things in our world - and, my (hardly simplistic, albeit inarticulate) views around them.

You'll also learn things about, well, things, like people you need to know about, and information about companies you can't find anywhere else.

So, while I harangue the public in my not so gentle way, you will discover that I am fascinated by all things arcane, curious about those whom appear religious, love music, dabble in politics, loathe the media, value education, still think I am an athlete, and might offer a recipe.

All the while, striving mightily, and daily, to remain a prudent and optimistic gentleman - and, authentic.

brian cork by John Campbell





photos by John Campbell

 

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