The Unsinkable brian cork™

Brian Patrick Cork is living the Authentic Life
Browsing Love

repost: hate is not greater than love maybe

March31

I’m kind of cheating, today. but, this so by public request (WordPress does not have a other form of “repost” capability).

two words:

love and hate.

or, love and hatred.

they represent genuine extremes, I think.

as an aside… we’ve witnessed; and unfortunately, some of you have lived – “love hate” relationships.

but, some people love to hate. we assign that to terrorists, for example. other folks might submit they hate to love.

“there’s nothing in this world so sweet as love. and next to love the sweetest thing is hate.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I’m intently considering my keyboard, and thinking love is an elixir, whereas hatred is fuel. however, both can be the foundation for a cause. and, a result of a cause, I  suppose.

apparently there exists, some where, but I don’t, in truth, care precisely where, a study using a brain scanner to investigate the neural circuits that become active when people look at a photograph of someone they say they hate has found that the “hate circuit” shares something in common with the “love circuit”.

I’m thinking the opposite of love is not hate. however, it could be indifference. but, we’re trying not to introduce other words, here. on the other hand, indifference is not the same result if you say: the opposite of hate is not love. the meaning, if not the entire context changes, and radically.

what the hell, I’ll add an aside, here. me? I’ll fear indifference long before hate, and certainly love. indifference might suggest the loss of hope. And, maybe that’s the key to strapping on a vest stuffed with dynamite, or losing the will to love. love might take more courage and effort than hate, after all.

these words, and their application, might represent an important battlefield. the on-going war that rages (now, that’s an interesting word relative to this line-of-thinking) between these emotions is relentless. we seem to have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another, unflinchingly. it’s more likely that love will turn, and viciously, into seething hatred, and not so likely that hate will transform itself into love. if someone were to say: ‘I hate loving”, it’s sad, but that is more easy to relate to than: “I love hating”, which almost sounds like a chest-thumping cause for action, or call-to-action.

hate is often considered to be an evil passion that should, in a better world, be tamed, controlled and eradicated. yet, I think were you a biologist, hate is a passion that is of equal interest to love.

like love, hate is often seemingly irrational, and can lead individuals to both heroic and evil deeds. this fascinates me. how can two opposite sentiments lead to the same behavior?

perhaps that line-of-thinking led Ella Wilcox to say: “love lights more fire than hate extinguishes.”

I can’t say I agree with that. for example, love is often viewed as given, whereas is hatred is acquired. but, we can demonstrate how hatred is ladled-out carefully and becomes so much more powerful over time. if someone handed a terrorist (we really do leverage that term liberally, don’t we) a flower, they would likely shove up the givers butt, or grind it into dust and mix it with weed-killer and craftily introduce it into their coca-cola. having said that, perhaps the makers of coca-cola are actually terrorists of a sort because soft drinks are, indeed poison, and slowly killing a large portion of the worlds population. too many people say: “I love coca-cola”, and not enough say: “I hate coca-cola”. but, I digress (although shareholders of coca-cola enterprises love to make money, and certainly don’t hate it).

me? as I continue to explore the complexities of living the authentic life, I’m more likely to try and love, in general. or, at least care. this is where indifference creeps back into the thinking. I’m not sure you can win once love is part of the equation because many lines become blurred and the self can be lost. but, nobody actually wins where hate evolves. that’s a kobayashi maru. I’ll submit once indifference corrupts the soul, there exists hatreds foothold. and, I’ll often try to encourage my fourteen year old daughter to try, and hard, not to even use the word hate in a sentence – especially relative to people, and also inanimate objects (like new cellular telephones) – but more so, then, from a common-sensical standpoint. I also want her to be careful about dispensing and leveraging the word love. there is that tipping-point, after-all.

it all requires a lot of thinking and consideration. a cause, if you will, for that winnie-the-Pooh figgerin’ spot.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

Love and Life are not always EASY just simple

March7

so…

my life is taking some quirky twists-and-turns. simple things are not always easy.

I get up A LOT earlier than everyone else in my household. typically around 430am.

I text all three of my girls with something like, “good morning! I love you all. have a great day” at roughly 6:15am when they are all rousing. but, I am always ignored.

my Mom used to say, and almost every day, “tell everyone that you love all about it every day. demonstrate it. you never know what your last impression will be.”

and, I miss her every day.

you can miss a lot of things when you don’t have them. so, never take anything for granted. nothing.

I was at Olde Blind Dog last night with Marc Kutter, catching up, swapping war stories, and investigating opportunities. I think he and I are destined to make really cool stuff happen. I talk a lot. but, one of the little bon mots I shared with him (I’m convinced it was relevant to the flowing stream-of-conscienciousness) was a brief story about where I was less than a year before I first met Joanne.

it was 1988 and I was still in Los Angeles working on my MBA and in the midst of rehabbing my knee after a disastrous training accident while I was pretending to be a professional triathlete. I had lost all of my sponsors, had no medical benefits, and was living out of my car with my white retriever Alex. I had taken David Sugarman’s guidance and started working as a securities broker. it was a long hard struggle (mostly the knee part, selling stuff came easy), however I was convinced my next steps would eventually pay-off. I was still using commercial airlines, hitch-hiked to work sometimes, and saved every penny. every now and then I pitched a tent in my buddy Tom’s back yard, and would use his hose for drinking and washing (both me and Alex, actually). his neighbors hated me.

but, I have never shied away from fist-bumping a homeless person. in fact, I think the first fist-bump I ever received was from Otis, the crazy dude on the Promenade in Santa Monica.

things, generally, got better from there. but, they are more often than not, always interesting. and, I am so happy to have mates like Marc around. and the world spins around my girls mush like the globe upon it’s sturdy axis. and, I’ll keep telling everyone that I love, it’s from my heart. and, I’m grateful.

and, optimistic.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

there is always a test

February14

Heart break is a much more effective weight loss program than Weight Watchers.

But, I’m glad no one can package it.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

posted under Family, Joanne, Life, Love | 1 Comment »

we all have Special Needs

July28

so…

most of you will never have the pleasure of meeting, let alone really knowingMr. Robert _______.

Robert is the third generation owner and operator of a highly specialized business that has transformed the lives of countless people for three generations.

I reckon it was about a year ago Robert contacted me just to let me know he was going to “follow” me and see if it made sense to have me coach him.

“I’m not clear what is meant by your being a ‘cultural architect’ but your name comes up in interesting circles and I like what you say about helping men make better decisions”.

that was great affirmation, I think (and, thought). however, when he contacted my in June asking if he could sign-on with me I was astonished that it was me that received the first lesson, and it remains a doozy.

Robert has a child with “special needs”. that child will never have a typical leadership in Robert’s family business. but, what happens around the boy clearly reflects a culture, way of life, and view of the world that both inspires, and explains why the organization is so hugely successful.

at a point in the first rounds of getting better acquainted Robert explained to me that,

“God really trusts me. I think that is why He gave us Bobby. …or, He may think he needs to keep testing me on my toes. But either way He evidently cares enough to be in our lives because the experiences make me richer than any business venture I can imagine”.

seriously.

I’m confident this is not always the case. but, it seems to me I know a good number of men with special needs kids that always impress me. they are unique people, to be sure. it makes me think of the Muslim maxim:

“the promise is in the punishment, and the punishment is in the promise”.

or, something to that effect.

Monday I was finished with a good running work-out at Northpark on one the turf fields. as I was driving away I noticed two men on a bench apparently just breathing in life. as I drew past the pair I noticed one was younger. I’ll assume he was a son. he had is arms crossed over his lap and he was rocking himself back-and-forth. he had that “blinking’ and haggard look about him that often signals the challenged. but, what gave me the good pause was a man that I want to assume is his earthly father was relaxed, enjoying the moment with a hand draped across the back of the bench and gently stroking the lads shoulder. I was convinced this was simply a loving father with his son. they were good for one another.

I don’t have a point today. I simply wanted to share this with you. me? I want to stay moved awhile. and, inspired. and, thankful – if only, at times, by a simple perspective.

we all have special needs.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

« Older EntriesNewer Entries »

What’s All This About?

"What am I looking at?", you might wonder.

Lots of stuff.

Meanwhile, here, I discuss events, people and things in our world - and, my (hardly simplistic, albeit inarticulate) views around them.

You'll also learn things about, well, things, like people you need to know about, and information about companies you can't find anywhere else.

So, while I harangue the public in my not so gentle way, you will discover that I am fascinated by all things arcane, curious about those whom appear religious, love music, dabble in politics, loathe the media, value education, still think I am an athlete, and might offer a recipe.

All the while, striving mightily, and daily, to remain a prudent and optimistic gentleman - and, authentic.

brian cork by John Campbell





photos by John Campbell

 

Share this Blog with friends or enemies (via Twitter). Do it!:

Archives

Linkedin

View Brian Cork's profile on LinkedIn

Categories