The Unsinkable brian cork™

Brian Patrick Cork is living the Authentic Life
Browsing Joanne

…and the man said that’s not a [fill in blank] thats my wife


so… a sixteen year old daughter, is one thing… but, have you ever looked at your wife and wondered who in the heck that is (usually after some form of uncertain dialogue)? even apes have enough sense not to make eye-contact when matters get touchy. but me?

that “no mans land” (literally)/1 of the daunting “dog house” finds me its hapless resident, again.

God has a wicked, if not capricious, sense of humor, eh. the joke is forever on us. sometimes its a good joke. some times not so much. but, humor, the sense of it, and an ability to adapt to any situation, possibly a challenge, separates us from the beasts. we have to always remain alert.

…because it can always be worse. we may find ourselves out of the dog house, and thrown to the wolves.

however, a potential white knight opportunity manifested itself Friday morning when Joanne tried to forward an invoice she had on email from the dog park she favors.

so, without a lot of my typical preamble (except for the above part), and sans further adieu, I will simply share with you an email I crafted for Joanne (just so’s you might recognize her, she’s the one, that at rare social gatherings, often looks at me with a mix of perplexity and skepticism), that morning.

it will either make her laugh, or just piss her off more. but, I can rarely help myself with such matters:

“Good morning.

While I am deeply sorry to contribute in any way, shape, or form, to your duress, I must nevertheless  inform you that your email finds itself (and perhaps forlornly so) bereft of any actionable attachment. Thusly, I find myself in a desolate sate of compromised ability to come to your succor, in this matter.

That said, with hope springing forever eternal, a solution verily finds itself at-hand! To wit… If you could dig deep and rally yourself to the august cause of finding an actual invoice (I pray, I pray, I tell you that such a documents might exist), and cast that in my own wretched direction (or, simply forward it to me), I will make it a life-mission, a veritable raison d’être, to convert it financially (albeit electronically) into a pathway for your triumphant return to Wolfbrook Dog Park, and the better graces of the enigmatic Annette.

I am your servant, if only the object of your bitter disdain.


peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

1/: no man’s land – “the ambiguous region between two categories or states or conditions (usually containing some features of both); “but there is still a twilight zone, the tantalizing occurrences that are probably noise but might possibly be a signal”; “in the twilight zone between humor and vulgarity”; “in that no man’s land between negotiation and aggression”

DISCLAIMER:  I’ve been married to the same woman for over twenty-two years. however, it takes two people to make that work. life can be like surfing, and marriage does not have to be a Kobayashi Maru.

in any event, let’s lighten things up a bit… just don’t try try this at home:

“My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

And then the fight started…”

“A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not

happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I

look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And then the fight started…..”

“A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man

“Holy crap. That must be my husband!”

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window.

He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’

The woman yelled back, “Yeah, then why were you running?”

And then the fight started…..”


there is always a test


Heart break is a much more effective weight loss program than Weight Watchers.

But, I’m glad no one can package it.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

posted under Family, Joanne, Life, Love | 1 Comment »

brian cork looking (back) at Old Sacramento


I’ve been ever so busy with life. it’s good to be certain. and, those that know mw well, and perhaps not so much, all understand that it’s both Lacrosse and Soccer season.

that said, a newish friend of mine responded to a TeamSnap team email where I mentioned Mom being an Old Sacramento Debutante. he came back with some interesting information. my response is below. some of the information is new to some of you, not so much, for the rest. but, good insight into me, and whnce I come, just the same….


My Dad was a South Dakota farm boy and a 2nd Lieutenant when he met my Mom at a soiree in Old Sacramento in early 1959. They were introduced by my Dad’s best friend (my Godfather), who was also very close to my Mom.

My Mom grew up with Max Baer, Jr. (Jethro Bodine from Beverly Hillbillies and the son of Max Baer, the heavy weight champion) as her next door neighbor. She had the only back-yard pool of its kind in the city in that era.

A few months later, when Dad was promoted to 1st Lieutenant, he showed-up on Mom’s doorstep and, as the story goes said, “I have to go to Nebraska. If you’ll have me I need you to meet me there in a month. Plan on staying”.

She did just that. She and my Godmother jumped on a train and never looked back. I was born in Lincoln, Nebraska in 1960. I was evidently a “Mai Tai baby”, according to my Mom. There were witnesses.

We then found ourselves at Beale AFB when Dad made Captain. My younger brother Greg was born at Roseville General Hospital in 1965. I had many adventures all over Beale AFB, rather like Huck Finn.

In 1968 or 1969 my Dad headed to Southeast Asia for the first of two one-year tours. While he had two B52’s shot out from underneath his navigators chair my Mom held post back in Sacramanto. We lived in a rented house but visited the Mathers AFB Officers Club pool through the summers. I attended Albert E. Schweitzer Elementary School. Through all that we often visited my Nana Lenci (my Moms Nana) whom lived in Old Sacramento and ran bootleg gin out of her bathtub in the ’20’s. She made the best tortellini and brodo soup you can imagine. She had also taught my Mom how to dive from the towers in Merced during the summers growing-up.

After that it was mostly midwest duty posts. Dad was highly decorated. Always promoted “below the zone”. He was the first navigator in SAC history to command a B52 Wing from the Navigators Chair. Later he moved over to Peacekeeper Missiles and commanded a Missile Wing. I believe he is also the only SAC Colonel to have commanded two Wings under separate missions.

After my Mom died of cancer in 1985, Dad sent me off to Los Angeles with my college degree to work at Northrop Corporation. I pulled out a MBA at Northrop University (which is mostly Bullshit because the school lost its accreditation). But, I double-dipped and played another round of college Lacrosse at Loyola Marymount. I spent every hour I could surfing, playing Lacrosse and volleyball while trying to be the man David Sugarman said I could be learning stocks. That’s where I also met Joanne, twenty-two years ago, this December. I’ve never “seen” another girls since (just like my Dad).

I still surf when I can, have the girl of my dreams, and love Lacrosse. Most of its tied to California, some how.

I’m certain my own daughters will read these stories one day. perhaps they will remember the “face of their father” and value his memories – they’ve formed me, after all. so, I’m delighted to share them with all of you, as well.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork


why I will always be an Entrepreneur, Story #14


Brian Patrick Cork I love this story. it resonates with me. back in 1990 I was a badly injured professional SoCal triathlete living-out of my car with my dog Alex, trying to rehab myself at a local gym. I was working three jobs trying to raise money to start my own investment fund. I showered and operated out of the gym and the cafe. it was there I met my mentor David Sugarman and also my wife, Joanne.

Meet the tireless entrepreneur who squatted at AOL For two months last fall, Eric Simons secretly took up residence inside the Internet giant’s Palo Alto, Calif., campus, eating free food, enjoying gym access, and building a startup in the process.I am relentless in my quest for being the Solution.
peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.
brian patrick cork

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What’s All This About?

"What am I looking at?", you might wonder.

Lots of stuff.

Meanwhile, here, I discuss events, people and things in our world - and, my (hardly simplistic, albeit inarticulate) views around them.

You'll also learn things about, well, things, like people you need to know about, and information about companies you can't find anywhere else.

So, while I harangue the public in my not so gentle way, you will discover that I am fascinated by all things arcane, curious about those whom appear religious, love music, dabble in politics, loathe the media, value education, still think I am an athlete, and might offer a recipe.

All the while, striving mightily, and daily, to remain a prudent and optimistic gentleman - and, authentic.

brian cork by John Campbell

photos by John Campbell


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