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Brian Patrick Cork is living the Authentic Life

consumer This


We have a hot-wire from the Associated Press…

Apparently, the masses (or that unruly mob of PC lovers – and, Android [read jealous]) are reacting like a bunch of mean-spirited high school cheerleaders over a decision by Consumer Reports against endorsing the latest iPhone because of reception problems that threatens to tarnish Apple Inc.’s reputation. However, the same report failed to mention that Apple fans who have braved poor reception (depends where you are standing – literally) for years are likely to keep buying the product, because it’s still one of the best made pieces of technology available to, well, the masses.

So… If you have followed some of this and other related nonsense pervading the internet about how Apple is soon to be on it’s knees over reliability issues related to it’s new iPhone 4 and it’s antennae, consider the following…

I’ve established through rigorous scientific testing that rotating a Consumer Reports magazine sideways drastically reduces the readability of the articles. In my view, this obvious design flaw is the responsibility of Consumer Reports to fix. The consumer has a right to expect that when a reading-oriented device (form of media) is rotated that the text will shift orientation to remain readable to the viewer. Due to this potentially catastrophic oversight in design, if not judgment, I cannot recommend Consumer Reports at this time. We are recommending that Consumer Reports recall all of its magazines, or republish them so that they can be read without the fear of digesting poorly conceived data, regardless of how the consumer holds it.

Consumer Reports was miffed because, evidently, as of Tuesday evening, Apple hadn’t returned phone calls or e-mails about the Consumer Reports critique, which the (erstwhile) venerable arbiter of product quality posted on its website Monday. While some Apple watchers find the company’s responses to the reception issue objectionable (picture Steve Jobs pointing to his butt), they don’t see any penalties for Apple if it does nothing further.

The fact is, reason-minded analysts are more likely to say that Apple could simply ignore calls by bloggers and others to recall the iPhone 4 or offer free cases to mitigate the problems. Or, scotch tape. That works as well.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

6 Comments to

“consumer This”

  1. Avatar July 15th, 2010 at 8:48 am Anonymous Says:

    Just buy a friggin’ cover. The whole world is acting like a little child.

  2. Avatar July 15th, 2010 at 8:58 am Brian Patrick Cork Says:

    Hello Anonymous.

    And, apparently a piece of scotch tape along the edge will also do the trick. So, save $20.00 (cost of a cover), and use a $0.0001 solution.

    Apple has a thirty (30) return policy on all of it’s products. and, it always honors that policy. There will be no valid lawsuits. And, people that want best-of-class products will continue to purchase and use those brought forth by Apple.


  3. Avatar July 15th, 2010 at 10:57 am nicholas johnson Says:

    “And, people that want best-of-class products will continue to purchase and use those brought forth by Apple.”

    That statement immediately after suggesting a scotch tape fix to a hardware design flaw? A hardware design flaw from a company that creates flawless hardware?

  4. Avatar July 15th, 2010 at 11:45 am Brian Patrick Cork Says:

    I’ll not submit that Apple builds “flawless hardware” (flawless will ultimately equate to perfection – and, that will never exist on this earthly plane). However, I can prove that Apple builds best-of-class products that people believe in, purchase, and stand by based on a long and storied history of a commitment to quality and user experience.

    This current issue around the antennae is simply an opportunity for apple to improve the product.

    The worst mistake is that which is repeated. The stage is set for Apple to redeem itself by making the next version of the iPhone better.

    Along the way… Apple has a terrific thirty day return period. And, they stand by it with both a will and purpose. It’s a bold demonstration of their confidence and commitment to quality. Anyone unhappy with their iPhone is free to exercise the option. A terrific bit of research would be to sort out how many people are actually doing so. Or, understand the elegance of the evolution of the product. The iPhone is masterful piece of technology. SOMETIMES reception can be an issue. It’s not for me (yet any way). And most of us iPhone leveragers enjoy the rest of the handsets broad array of tools, and it’s simplicity of use – which is in direct contrast to other devices that include the Goofle NexusOne and other Android devices.


  5. Avatar July 16th, 2010 at 7:19 pm Nicholas Says:

    They’ve come up with a solution to the antenna problem.

    And to imply that Android devices are complicated to use and don’t have a broad array of tools is misleading. Perhaps, to the technology neophytes out there, Android phones require more technical prowess. But, so does a jailbroken iPhone.

    We Android users refuse to eschew obfuscation – in fact, we embrace it and thrive on it. We bend the technology to our will, instead of letting the technology (and its heavy handed dictator of a creator) bend us.

  6. Avatar July 16th, 2010 at 7:57 pm Brian Patrick Cork Says:

    I implied only the obvious elegance of Apple technology. Evidently that Android device of yours also acts as a chip on the shoulder.

    In any event, Steve Jobs, that heavy handed arbiter of technological advancement bends you to his will nonetheless. You, being an android, likely means you think you are counter-cultural – or, in some manner, a nonconformist. But, that android device in your hand is an effort to emulate, not innovate. Apple has that distinction as it continues to lead the way.

    I don’t want to tinker. Those people can work for me – just like my choice of technology. Simple I say.

    And, you can’t lay claim to bending technology to your will until you can create it, or at least develop it. Do you know anyone with a windows machine on their desk? Whenever I see one I wonder if the user understands that it is based on and operates off software literally stolen from Steve Jobs.

    Meanwhile, I don’t need a free cover for my iPhone 4. I’m not having reception problems. If I did, I can return it to Apple and they would likely give me a new one. I had a Google NexusOne. A handsome handset to be sure. But, after forty five days of use it began to spontaneously turn itself off. The only solution was to take out the battery, and put it back in. There was no way to return it to Google. T-Mobile now carries the NexusOne at there stores. But, they won’t cooperate or take the defective unit under Customer Service.


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