why forgiveness might be overrated
I’m waxing sophomoric, here, and distilling some thoughts into the simplest of terms.
Practicing Christians will hold that forgiveness (which is apparently divine), and “turning the other cheek”, are vital elements to a sustained scociety and civility civilization.
Muslims extol the thinking that an “eye for an eye” can offer similar benefits, albeit with a greater emphasis on an ultimate and expedited solution.
A reason, but not necessarily, the reason, for my pondering much of this stems from my current investigations into existentialism and heterodoxy. In fact, you can read through my initial thinking here: dangers of the authentic Life.
I understand, sort of, why it might make sense to turn a cheek when someone takes a swipe at you. But, on the other hand (perhaps literally) it also makes sense, to me, that if you cut off the hand that offends, the perpetrator can’t won’t likely repeat the mistake offense.
…pausing, here… I use the cross-out effect for affect – just so you know.
It takes character (ponder that play-on-words) to absorb a lot of Christian-oriented punishment. However, in the Muslim perview, the limited number of limbs (and life) increases the sense of urgency when it comes to playing fair.
Somebody has to pose these question and sort out the thinking. It’s what Prudent and Optimistic Gentlemen, do.
Peace be to my Brothers and sisters.
Brian Patrick Cork
be careful not to fall into the trap that quantifies what can only be qualitated (i just made that word up).
it is not “forgiveness might be overrated”… it is forgiveness is always underestimated.
Certainly that.
However, there is the vital difference between forgiving and forgetting.
Lessons are possibly best realized when both sides leave something on the table, as it were.
Cork
That is why I have been teaching our daughters that there is a two-step process after you have been wronged. First, to forgive. Even if not asked for it, for our own sakes, it’s important to forgive those that have wronged us. This, is actually, the easier step, since it just involves the offended.
The second step is to restore. Restoration is much tougher because not only does it require the offender to commit to changing their behavior for the long term (repentance), but the offended also must extend grace and an achievable pathway for the restoration of trust and the relationship as a whole. It’s not even really forgetting, but rather not holding the person hostage for the offense, and committing to seeing it through until full restoration has occurred.
If the offender, however, chooses not to repent, then restoration cannot occur, and the relationship is forever scarred, and possibly destroyed. Sadly, this is where most relationships break down that never should have, because both sides are more focused on being right than being righteous.
I only hope that I can be one who is not only willing to forgive seventy times seven, but is also willing to restore a hundred times more…
AM