The Unsinkable brian cork™

Brian Patrick Cork is living the Authentic Life

showing Up


I’ve discussed this in, possibly, more detail with an earlier post: being pleased or being satisfied.

However, along a different track (but in so many ways the same), Friday night Emma Jo and I were at the annual Daddy’s and Daughters Dance at the Intercontinental. Woody Faulk, a Chick-fil-A stalwart, has helped sponsor the event for going on six years now.

We had a terrific time, although I’ll submit that much of the excitement is focused on the weeks leading up to the big event (that dress, and the right shoes, are a really big deal), and the sore feet to prove it. Although Emma Jo was quick to point out that they failed to play any Selena Gomez songs (or, John Mayer, and Daddy sings those tunes really well).

I had the opportunity to lift my head up and observe many of the fathers with their daughters. And, I was struck by many, and many more variable images.

And, this thought:

You can spend your time, waste your time, or invest your time. It’s your choice.

I feel great about mine. Especially how I relate to my girls.

We can’t just show up. This was greatly evident to me as Emma Jo clung happily to me, whirling slowly to the sound of a song that she could care less about.

This morning I’m listening to Fly to Your Heart by Selena Gomez (with Emma Jo working on a project nearby). It happens to be associated with Tinker Bell. And, Heartbreak Warfare by John Mayer.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

6 Comments to

“showing Up”

  1. Avatar January 31st, 2010 at 2:15 pm george landolt Says:

    A great reminder of the distiction between Show and Tell and Show Up and Behold. When you write about your family it is as the streaming music of The Song of Solomon instead of the Song of Salmon.

  2. Avatar January 31st, 2010 at 2:54 pm Brian Patrick Cork Says:

    Hello George.

    I sure do appreciate you.

    I’m scratching my head a bit over this one, mind you. But, I’m thinking and, also pondering.

    Thank you for that.


  3. Avatar January 31st, 2010 at 5:47 pm george landolt Says:

    I use the phrase “Song of Salmon” in this instance as metaphorplay representing times when I or others choose to live in opposition to the theme as one who is loved as in Song of Solomon. Because of this choice, fathers-myself included at times- seem unable to embrace the initimate opportunities to love well resulting in patterns of avoidance or indifference even when they show up.

    These patterns- conditioning- create the feeling as swimming upstream when growing or deepening family intimacy is possible. I’ve found that joy emerges from life’s stream of personal opportunities about which you so often elegantly write. Being great lovers by embracing who’s right in front of us at any given moment creates a profound joy in the journey such as you mentioned about the time leading to an event with the event as icing on the cake.

    In our family we usually even begin celebrating birthdays three weeks early because of this. 🙂

  4. Avatar January 31st, 2010 at 6:09 pm Brian Patrick Cork Says:

    You honor me.

    I’ll simply play this one grateful.


  5. Avatar February 1st, 2010 at 8:41 am Drew Tilghman Says:

    brian, i deeply appreciate your blogs about your daughters. they (both your daughters and the blogs about them) have been a strong connecting point for you and me. we still need to get the four of them together.

    the love of a father goes highly underrated in this world, but it goes so immeasurably far. much farther than anyone of us can imagine. i have been a single father for 7 years now (just recently married to an amazing wife and parenting partner though!), and being a father has been one of the greatest and most challenging experiences of my life. God has revealed Himself and His compassion to me through my daughters. i love watching them experience new things, ask tons of questions, laugh from all corners of the house, stop and smell the roses, stare deeply through my eyes and into my heart, and dance till they’ve dropped on the floor.

    i have also seen them go through an intense pain that no young child should have to experience. i want to scoop them up and protect them from this cruel world, but i realize that i cannot. i can only do all that i can do. yet, i can love them. i am learning that i do not have to make up for anything. i can just love. i can just love them as only a father has the unique ability to love. our daughters need just that, even in a crazy, messed up world… a loving father.

    your enjoyment of your daughters (living encounter) is healing and life giving. your love for them is an event all in itself, one that never ceases. it encourages me and reminds me of what is most important. it makes life more enjoyable and damn worthwhile. thanks for sharing your life with us, with me, in this way.

  6. Avatar February 1st, 2010 at 9:37 am Brian Patrick Cork Says:

    Your words are a simple truth Drew.

    But, as centered as much of this makes me feel, I am deeply troubled by the comment string with Gary.

    Just so all the readers know, this exchange has given me pause. It raises questions. There be pondering ahead of what might be an uncertain call to action.


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