so… one of my U14 Girls soccer families includes a son that is stumbling. one of the Mom’s shared with me a few details. the kid is on a run with bad luck. however, those things change. some times its with a will, more often it’s dealing with the loving hands of a higher power.
but, there is much to be said of attitude.
you don’t need to care about the mom’s soulful and heart-breaking words. my message to her follows. I’ll report back with updates as they are realized.
A few ranting points for now, with more specific thinking to follow later:
“Failure” is only realized with a lack of trying. This can mean trying at all, or trying your best.
That said, life tracks to evolution. It’s all about trial-and-error. The entire human race has arrived to our current state due to a lot of failure – more failure than success; but, here we all are. [REDACTED] is too young to be a failure. He has not even tasted enough success for a comparative analysis. Any set-back is a tremendous opportunity to learn and get better. That’s not cliche, it is simple fact.
The irony with much of whom we are as a people is our being referred to as, “the human race”. We compete with one another without rhyme or reason.
I’m a parent too. I fall into the same trap you have. We have expectations for our children. They tend to be a bit undefined. Grades, school, love, competition of all types. The standard for measurement is derived from almost unhuman (I’m not writing, “inhuman”, intentionally) standards. That can be Kardashians, the NFL, Stephen Hawkings, the neighbors kid that got lucky with DNA, or a group of kids that just try harder than everyone else.
Sometimes we gotta slow down. Stop racing. Just listen to our heartbeat. Ask the question, “who am I in this moment?”.
I could be flippant and tell you that [REDACTED] profiles like a decent percentage of .com entrepreneurs. However, that will set the wrong tone.
[REDACTED] must first be able to answer some questions to gain both his footing, and his confidence. Those questions might include:
What are you good at?
What do you want to do (the toughest question EVER).
Who needs you?
What will you do next?
I’m happy to meet with [REDACTED].
There will never be an easy answer. His lot may end-up being Biblical. But, his best bet is to be the sort of young man that people ask him what makes him, different.
P.S… I spent some time living out of my car with my dog, Alex.