The Unsinkable brian cork™

Brian Patrick Cork is living the Authentic Life
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just watch me pee

May8

so…

only a man can fully appreciate this post.

I have never had a problem peeing in public on an open camp fire.

they call me trinityhave you ever seen the movie, They Call Me Trinity? I think it was one of my Dad’s favorite films. it’s a genuine Italian “spaghetti western”, that starred an impossibly handsome and gifted comedic Terrence Hill as our favored protagonist, “Trinity”. the lesser know sequel was My Name Is Nobody. that also starred Henry Fonda, (my favorite Fonda movie remains, belly laugher. the room always lit-up for me when he laughed.

I don’t think Dad stopped laughing from the opening credits to the very end. and, the retelling of numerous Trinity scenes made cocktail parties at our house(s) worth looking forward to.

in any event, there was a scene in a public latrine where Trinity faces-off with a hapless fellow, face-to-face over urinals. that seen left a lasting impression on me for countless reasons.

this past weekend I had my Emma Jo and our hearty-and-ferocious U13 Shockers Nation soccer team at a Select tournament in Duluth preparing for the State Cup May 11th and 12th. we were warming-up for a match and I had something of a run-in with the other teams head coach. he wanted us to change our jerseys and there really was no point. he was just trying to get into our heads. the simple fact is, he was being a DICK.

brian patrick corkabout ten minutes before the match I found myself heading towards the public restroom only steps behind him. he approached a urinal first and paused. I strode right up to the urinal next to him, looked right at him and instantly unleashed a manful and thundering effort, staring at him for a delightful thirty seconds. the entire time he could produce nothing. as I prepared to make my triumphant and testosterone enhanced departure, I slapped him heartily on the shoulder (whoopsee) and offered a well-meant, “good luck coach”.

I know all of this is mean-spirited. but, he was a DICK.

we are ready! wish us luck at State Cup!

peace be to my Brothers and sisters.

brian patrick cork

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Nexus 4, AT&T, and youmail.com

April24

Point of reference: LG Nexus 4, AndroidYoumail, and AT&T, and Google (sort of).

I’m trying something a bit different and unusual for myself, today.

…actually I do unusual things almost daily. however, in this case I am absolutely focused on a vital mission. perhaps the unusual part is the effort means helping Android, kind of.

did you even know there is an “Android” website that is separate from Google?

in any event, as most of you know I am an tried-and-true Apple evangelist, but also diligent about keeping an open-mind and heart around technology. this includes mobile devices, and technology in general.

google nexus 4my current efforts entail the setting aside of my trusted and always reliable iPhone 5.8 and making a go of the Nexus 4.

of course, I was amongst the first to try the Nexus One. It was interesting, but too much work to maintain my standards around efficiency.

Since then I’ve experimented with several other Android device’s to include the Samsung Note and recently the Samsung Galaxy S4. The GS4 just pissed me off because it remains complicated. email is a chore for Gods’ sake. I’ve seen Android phones get better and more powerful over the years, as Google and phone manufacturers pack devices with more and more features.

because Google lets device makers customize Android to suit their needs, Samsung, LG, and others have been adding their own distinguishing features. however, there comes a time when less is more. I’m convinced we’ve reached that time. so, the differentiator comes down to utilization, functionality, simplicity, and possibly elegance.

as much as Apple can be criticized for exerting control over what goes on its iPhones, it wins on simplicity. there are no competing agendas — just Apple’s.

however, I maintained my commitment to being open-minded and got my hands on the Nexus 4. I love it. as least as much as any reasonable human bean can genuinely love a soulless piece of equipment. but, this mobile device is inspired. while this blog post is not meant to be a review – that is forthcoming – the stage was set for my on-going investigation around utilization that has generated adventures, if not hijinks. the Android operating system the Nexus 4 runs is excellent. in recent years the Google-made system has become a healthy competitor to Apple’s iOS system for iPhones.

and, that’s the source and thusly, the standard set-forth of the problem. most Android devices are over-packed with bags of tricks. phones, in general, have become way too complicated for many people to use. in some cases it’s because these custom features work only some of the time. in other cases, you’re confronted with too many ways to do similar things. or, quality control is not a priority, and they don’t play nice with the outside at all.

all of this brings me to my point.

Apple innovated visual voicemail. other companies perfected it. but, Apple remains the standard for simplicity and elegance. however, I wanted a bit more customization, so I researched and went with youmail. it was easy to set-up on an iPhone. I don’t know about phones in general, but, the hearty list of manufacturers (i.e. Apple, Samsung), Operating System (iOS and Android), and service provider (AT&T, Sprint, etc) are comprehensive. in any event, it just works great and I have been content with all of it for roughly four years now.

however, after firing-up my Nexus 4 on AT&T (that was simple and accomplished at the local AT&T Store), I downloaded the youmail App from Google’s ever-more-robust Play Store and tried to set that up. typically this means accessing the phone interface, entering a simple code, *004*3478966996#, and you are good to go. voice messages are routed from AT&T (in my case) to youmail. it has some cool custom features that serve well both personally and professionally that include emails sent to me that allow me to listen to my voice messages in almost any manner that I see fit.

however, all of this failed me with the Nexus 4 in-hand. After repeated attempts I was left with a discouraging error code that haplessly read, “call forwarding connection problem or invalid MMI code”.

believe it or not there is almost nothing about this dilemma recorded by Nexus 4 or youmail users once “googled”, “binged”, or “yahood”. so, I accessed the youmail trouble forum. but, still found nothing. I was, however, encouraged to upgrade my service to a more premium plan. I was skeptical about that, and began to match it with some growing frustration. I initiated a trouble-ticket and “Irish”, a youmail customer service engineer began a ponderous and pointless exchange with me that included instructing AT&T to manually change some settings under call forwarding. NOTE: as it turns out “Irish” can be found on several forums dismissing issues relative to youmail complaints. so, my contact with AT&T and my experiential journey involved two ominous terms – “conditional” and “unconditional” call forwarding. evidently, carrier voice mail is forwarded to youmail through the “conditional” protocol. so, while working with no less than three AT&T customer service representative, and also four technical support people, that was ultimately escalated to a tier-two representative (whom was ironically the least helpful and knowledgable, for that matter), it became clear that no one knew how to solve the problem.

have you ever had the feeling you were the first and only person to have a technical issue when you sought help from customer and/ or technical support?

for the record, I also called LG’s customer service. they manufacture the Nexus 4. a decidedly desultory fellow with a Mexican accent (that was a first for me) came on the line and fumbled around a bit (he could not understand ME). he tried to ask a few questions but lost interest (I kept hearing, “we don’t need no stinking customer services for you, here” in my head) and ended the call with LG taking the position of, “does not support third-party Apps”.

in our socially networked world, should not everyone actually try to work with third-party apps and operating systems? I am now going to try and pull together some engineers that can create a ubiquitous platform. just watch me.

so… at the moment I don’t know if youmail is a problem specifically for or related to Android devices, LG devices, AT&T as a carrier, or just the Nexus 4. I don’t know if the Nexus 4 being unlocked, unbranded, and unsubsidized by a carrier are issues, either. but, all of that might be relevant.

however, I now have the work-around answer for the Nexus 4, AT&T and youmail. I came across an exchange between yet another foreign dude (his avatar picture made him appear like a technical rep with ear phones, and all), that I decided was some foreign exchange student and “Irish”. he had apparently upgraded from an 8gb Nexus 4 to an 16 gb Nexus 4 and youmail was giving him fits (I’m going to speculate, here, that some software changes between the LG manufactured models were the most likely culprit). now… for me that just clouds the issue. however, the not-so-easy solution was evidently to simply access the Nexus 4 settings interface and update call forwarding manually with part of the aforementioned code. how Irish managed to be forgetful of all this during our own exchanges just blows me away. but, the simple fact that even AT&T reps don’t have access to historical and relevant trouble-shotting history, also astounds me. all they will say is, “the Nexus 4 is not supported by AT&T”.

in this case, we have an example of how Chuck Carey’s Collaborate would be VERY useful.

so, I suspect that answers the subsidization issue question.

as I finally wrap all of this up, I sent “Irish” an email attached to my growing trouble ticket with its ever-more cold solution and response trail with the following information:

“You might want to update your forums and FAQs.

I called AT&T again and had them manually update my call forwarding, “busy”, “uninsured”, and “unavailable” with the +13478966996 number.

youmail now appears to work. at least for the moment.

The mystery remains why this is not accomplished by the usual and simpler method of entering *004*3478966996# into your phone and simply hitting “call”. in any event, is this related to Android, LG, and/ or unlocked phones? are you even going to respond to me? or, do I need to upgrade to a premium service just to confirm what I did on my own?

I can’t believe youmail was unable to address all of this with more adeptness unless you are trying to push people to upgrade to the more expensive service. I’ll relate all of this on my blog today for the sake of posterity.”

now you all know what I know (not real… I am way ahead, and with a comfortable margin. but, at least I’m willing to share – and, possibly give you, collectively, a benefit of a doubt).

I do however, suspect that the elusive and shadowily pipe-smoking dog that probably leads the shadowy organization ultimately known as “they” are likely involved.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

 

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let’s Bitch-Slap North Korea’s Kim Jong Un

April4

I love strategy. it’s something I’m genuinely good at.

looking at a map, North Korea finds itself framed by China and South Korea.

if Teddy Roosevelt were looking at the same map and faced with the choices we are today, I’m thinking he would essentially bitch-slap North Korea’s little sissy of a leader, Kim Jong Un.

that’s a tactical move. but, it sets-the-stage for a reasonable strategy.

and, it’s a bit contrary to my earlier post today, a Purposeful RESULT of Random Love. but, that just brings us back to Roosevelt and how some historical lessons are always relevant, as is my reference to my Dad below.

I’m thinking that China is massing on North Korea’s border (…wait… did you know that is what’s happening? it sure is) because they can’t take the chance that North Korea pisses off the United States enough to elicit a preëmptive strike that casts nuclear fall-out into China and South Korea. think about what Israel did with the Yom Kippur War in 1973.  that would make for a Chinese interesting” forty-year anniversary.

more importantly, China takes Korea and ultimately puts them in the hands of South Korea making for a terrific and powerful trade-partner.

“SEOUL, South Korea (AP) — Hackers have apparently disrupted North Korea’s government-run Twitter account. The disruption comes at a time of rising tensions on the Korean Peninsula. The North’s Uriminzokkiri’s Twitter…”

kim jong unhere’s an interesting angle… by reputation, some of the finest hackers hail from China, itself. so, if I’m a shadowy Chinese Central Communist Party member (for the record I’m not. I am in-fact, a Prudent and Optimistic Gentleman – look it up in this blogs archives), and I want to stir-the-pot and instigate change, I give the order to attack North Korea at its bitter black heart - their ridiculous parody of a leader, Kim Jong Un, himself. he apparently drives everything rampant through a run-away ego.

everything about the little sissy makes you want to bitch-slap him.

“…a picture posted Thursday on the North’s Flickr site shows Kim’s face with a pig-like snout and a drawing of Mickey Mouse on his chest. Underneath, the text reads: “Threatening world peace with ICBMs and Nuclear weapons/Wasting money while his people starve to death.”

My Dad served in the United States Air Force under the Strategic Air Command (“Peace is our Profession”). he took détente seriously, and reasonably expected everyone else to do so as well. “Big planes with big bombs make other people think small”.

maybe the Chinese are gonna go “Roosevelt” on North Korea by speaking softly and use a big electronic stick.

is that poetic and justified irony?

they could call it the “Roosevelt Plan”. that would define irony.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork


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Love Kats aren’t pussys

March14

so…

I’m all about being a “love Kat“. I give freely of myself, just not for free. and, I’m more comfortable around people that always know precisely how and where I stand.

…wait… are you asking yourself, “what the hell is a love Kat?” well… read the following, then go look for additional posts:

Words to live by…

Being a Love Kat: Definition #4

love Kat tip #12

in any event, I have a history of lighting-up Christians that think they deserve to walk in the light of some Ministry or another.

many peoples views, and also attitudes towards, for, and about Ministries, need to be another “Burning Platform”.

Here are some examples of that:

holding ministries Accountable

ministries mean Business

pillaging ministries for Prophet - well, that elicited a call from a local mega-church Pastor and an inquiry from the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

missed-opportunitiesfrom whence our Inspiration?  – okay… wow… that post raised not a few eye brows. it also shook things up rather nicely around these parts.

yup, I love a nice twist on words; word-play, if you will – the entrendre (go look it up. do it!).

this is all about me being the Heterodox. go look that up as well. it’s all over this blog.

and, one of your all-time favorites with millions of views…

I Love You This Much by brian patrick cork  - talk about missed opportunities. Souly Business is  drenched in irony. however, I am eternally grateful, I’m certain of it.

NOTE: the above picture IS NOT Rowdy. I pulled the image from the internet. however it helped launch, from whence our Inspiration into viral sensation, and for good reason. so apropos.

this very morning I answered an email to one of my Brothers, thusly…

“So… Nothing has changed.

What you must be willing to do is look someone in the eye and say to them, “I want to make a living in ministry. But, I can’t seem to generate the business-side of the equation to justify it. So, I need someone to believe that this concept of video testimony is a compelling way to spread the Gospel. If you do then please fuel my efforts financially and shore-up my resolve. God has not made me strong enough to do this myself. I need your help”.

That takes balls, and conviction.

What I know, Todd, is that men want to help one another. But, they have to be willing to ask before other are able to give. Just waiting for everyone else to do it all for you will keep the process shrouded in mystery.

You need to come back under my coaching and stop screwing around with this. We do this on my terms. Or, just go get a job, save up your money, and go into ministry when you can actually afford to do it. I said something similar to Bryan [REDACTED] years ago. He could never talk to me again other than send me letters every now and then asking for money. I still don’t know what he does to earn other people’s largesse… However, I actually believe what you do has merit. You are gifted at helping people tell compelling stories. So, quit being a pussy.

brian patrick cork

Mobile – + 1 404 451 4799″

there was then another email (there are three more) from the same hapless fellow that generated this response from me…

“Some time ago, TIME magazine published the results of a survey that asked over a thousand adults about their belief regarding prayer and illness. The survey found that eighty-two percent (82%) of participants believe in the healing power of personal prayer, and seventy-three percent (73%) believe praying for someone else can help cure that person’s illness. When asked about God’s role in healing, seventy-seven percent (77%) said they believe God some times intervenes to cure people who have a serious illness.

While you may not be sick, what you are trying to do is solve a pandemic problem. We need to get people aligned with evangelism and the Great Commission on a modern platform. That makes you potentially part of the solution.

So… How is this need not being amplified and addressed with raised arms and voices? The answer is that, ironically, you have information, ability and skill, but, you are still part of the problem. You do a great and thorough job telling many of us how North Point and other churches are wrong (worse, “crappy”) for not recognizing your genius and opening their coffers up to you. But, they continue to grow and be ever more relevant. Didn’t North Point recently raise millions of dollars recently on a cash-call?

You have lots of creative ideas. But, what would happen if you invested all that energy into genuine action? That might inspire someone to write you a check. What are you doing to earn it?

What are you going to do differently, today?”

all that said… lift me up over ROI Ministry. I’m convinced we can be part of the Solution. I am trying very so hard to be a Love Kat.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

 

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"What am I looking at?", you might wonder.

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You'll also learn things about, well, things, like people you need to know about, and information about companies you can't find anywhere else.

So, while I harangue the public in my not so gentle way, you will discover that I am fascinated by all things arcane, curious about those whom appear religious, love music, dabble in politics, loathe the media, value education, still think I am an athlete, and might offer a recipe.

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