so…

the only being I’m probably really important to is my dog, Rowdy.

reference:

Rowdy can run.

Rowdy is alive and well.

and, with my vital role in the world always vitally suspect, my wife Joanne constantly rolling her eyes at me is telling.

but, that said, the point of this post, today, is to correlate two stories (and, a personal mission):

last night, against the Atlanta Falcons, Detroit Lions receiver, Calvin Johnson, aka “Megatron”, broke the legendary Jerry Rice’s single-season receiving record.

(sorry about the obnoxious advertisement)

he’s said some great things leading up to that. and, it’s likely the stage is set for many more a terrific bon mot, but the following quote caught me straight between the eyes, and to heart…

“It’s an accomplishment that took a lot of work,” Johnson said after the game. “You’re still in the moment – in the play that just happened, so I was still focused. I don’t think I even said anything when I gave my dad the ball. I just gave him a hug. But when I think back on it, it’s a special moment.”

as soon as I read that, my mind instantly went to the day of my college graduation from Radford University.

I probably did not belong in college at the on-set. but, my Mom and Dad leveraged an uncommon force-of-will to get me there. long story short, I’ve worked every day to have earned that. but, I can’t remember saying thanks to my Dad.

to wit…

“hey Dad. I sure to love you. and, I miss you. Haley Anne and Emma Jo have been out-right cheated by never having you in their lives, physically. but, almost every day they get a ‘Grandad story’. yeah… sometimes they roll their eyes. but, to be certain, another day they will realize the value.

two days, moments actually, often pop into my head, and typically at the seemingly most random times…

the last moment I saw you alive. we had just spent a couple of hours at your hotel while you were visiting Los Angeles on business. you had told me _____ was no good for me and to find the right girl (Dad never met Joanne, but he would adore her). I was listening. and, as I swaggered down the hall, I looked back and you were standing near the door to your room, sort of leaning against the wall with your hands shoved casually in your pockets gazing rather enigmatically at me. it was a tough read. but, I saw love, pride, sadness… a lot of stuff.

I took that moment for granted, just like I always took the too few years, months, weeks, days, hours and seconds I had with you.

then there was graduation day at Radford. Mom could not make it because she was dying of cancer at home. oddly, the import of that just struck me harder than ever before as I tap these words into existence. I know you were suffering. but, you were at Radford for me, and for the moment. a lot had gone-on the days leading up to that. I had sold a business and was sitting on some serious cash. Greg had drunk too much at a fraternity party and almost killed me, Eddie an himself driving back to my apartment. I had found Heather Hillier an hour before the ceremony, and then failed to look her in the eye and admit I had blown it by not ending-up with her instead of Dede (see below).

but, after the whooping-and-hollering and throwing of caps into the air, I found you standing off to the side by the fountain (Radford collective: you blew it by what you’ve relegated the fountain to). you had your coat looped through your arm with it being such a balmy Spring. and, of course, you had both that distant smile on your face – and, such a Gatsby air about yourself. were you a Last Gentleman a la, Walker Percy, after all?”

I do recall saying, “well… we did it”. however, I can’t recall much else. and, it was a bummer that you were distracted about Mom, and what lay ahead with Greg, the police, and all of that…

so…

Thank You.

despite my efforts to immortalize what I understood (or, not) about you on this blog over the years, and in stories to friends-and-family, I’ll probably never fully appreciate what that day meant to you, and on my behalf.

you grew up damn-dirt-poor (your words). but, your success is beyond measure. not just as a military officer. but, as a man and Dad. I know you had demons. and, they scarred us all. but, none of that could hide your efforts and the unflinching love and effort you put into your sons. Mom fought like hell to get me attention from college coaches despite my grades. but, you fought the odds and made it possible for me to be there. you never really talked about your own personal commitment to education, your advanced degrees (all long-after you were married and with kids), all that. what you cared about was Greg and me; our education. it was meaningful to you. so, graduation day was all the more special.

after you were gone, and I was able to get to Omaha, and while I was sorting through your affects, my mind a bit numb and body wracked with grief, I came upon a small box with my name neatly (nobody else ever had clean hand-writing like yours) stenciled across the top, and along one side (probably just for good measure). in that box were some momentos that you had carefully accumulated and I was unaware of… one of my running medals (why that one? …wait… I know why), a fishing hook, and a Political Science position paper I had written for Dr. Nick Pappas in my (ironically) Sophomore year with the words, “well done…” scrawled in a corner.

in my minds-eye, I see myself, with a re-wind like an old tape-to-tape reel, approaching you, giving you another hug, then stepping-back with an effort to be the man you saw, taking your hand firmly in my own (you taught me the importance of a firm hand-shake with eye-to-eye contact), and calmly state, “thank you Dad. I fully appreciate that everything you did since the day I was born was for, us. and, while you have given me an uncommon gift that will be measured more-and-more by the days yet ahead, this moment is for you. I want you to carry the memory of this day along with the notion that I could never conceive of the result without you being part of it every step leading up to, through, and beyond it”.

thanks for the ball, Dad.

today, I’m listening to Autumn Leaves, by Ed Sheeran. Haley Anne found this artist and shared him with me.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

Related posts:

1. anniversaries are milestones
2. old things seem New to me
3. Nick Pappas
4. Rowdy is alive and well
5. October sixth
6. converging paths
7. My Dad: Story 22 – Married For Life
8. Dan the Man
9. Footsteps
10. brian's Buddy

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I think it’s fair to say, possibly just admit, that I have lost my zeal for blogging.

it’s not that I no longer have opinions, or have discovered apathy, mind you.

however, I awoke this morning with the thought, which is worse apathy or death? or, are they the same?

…seriously…

so… here I am foisting a blog post upon the lot of you.

this is more about me finding other things beyond my own imagination, view, or standpoint to champion. I have been very much involved with Emma Jo and our soccer. despite me as their coach, Emma Jo and her U12 Shockers Nation found themselves 11-0 on the regular season, and finalists in their first bonafide tournament at the prestigious KOHLS Cup. I’ve also been coaching everyone else’s son in Lacrosse these past eighteen months. and, as evidence of my lack of desire to pontificate, I’ll not trouble you with any of those details. …well, at least for the moment.

meanwhile…

I have made a very conscious decision to stop being so hard on Barack Obama. for bad or worse, he is our Commander-in-Chief. we may not know if he is an anti-Christ until it’s to late. my own sixteen-year-old daughter Haley Anne pointed-out that if most Americans voted for the man, they must see something the minority does not.

she’s pretty bright.

so, we are mostly stupid or mostly right.  only time will tell for the rest of us.

on the other hand, maybe this is Gods own way of forcing the laws of natural selection down our collective throats. the European nations favor Obama. but then they are all sliding towards Socialism, and “misery loves company”, as they say, whomever they are. I suspect they conceived of Socialism as they follow apathy as a form of religion.

reference (I dare you): the secret series: in pursuit of They

in any event, with all of it weighing heavily on my mind, I have recalled a poignant, if not foreboding quote from the formidable Alexander Fraser Tyler, from his indomitable (and, certainly foresightful) work, Cycle of Democracy (1770):

“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over lousy fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average of the world’s great civilizations before they decline has been 200 years. These nations have progressed in this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; from faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to Complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependency; from dependency back again to bondage.”

okay… so, now what next, neighbor? could we hear the words, “give me liberty or give me death”, again? what might only 300 of us do?

we saw Emma Jo off on her first school away trip early this morning. as I brushed touseled hair from her eyes this morning to wake her as gently as I could, my eyes did tear-up somewhat as my mind ran rampant with memories of high intensity and drama from the weekend, natural apprehension around the pending trip, and a earthly fathers keen desire to protect his child from the rigors of an uncertain future. or, would that be opportunity?

God knows, right? I just want to be part of the solution, and not the problem. so, that is my prayer, today.

peace be to our Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

Related posts:

1. God gave me Daughters. What did He give You?
2. my daughters name is not Charity
3. honoring the Squirrel
4. converging paths
5. October sixth
6. the Eyes have it
7. Rowdy is alive and well
8. …the point being everything
9. our carver motor yacht story: July 4th, High Adventure, and Great Memories
10. ironic motivation or is it…

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so…

my excuse(s) for not blogging much these days seat themselves squarely on Lacrosse.

yes… I still coach my Shockers (although Haley Anne is actually a Breaker). But, both Haley Anne and Emma Jo find themselves on undefeated Soccer teams this season (despite the coach), and these days are rich indeed.

Joanne often resents the time I spend blogging. but, I completely understand. blogging is genuinely a great exercise in self-absorption. but, I really do try and use myself as an example, most of the time, regardless if the result paints me in a good or poor light. I want it to be a worthy and noble effort through a life well-lived; an authentic life.

how many of you know that Haley Anne is named after my Mom, Barbara Anne, and Joanne? And, that Emma Jo is also meant to honor my wife? I look at my daughters and I see the women that both were, and remain, forces of nature and incredible influencers through my existence.

in any event, I still play Lacrosse. and, I hope to play a lot of it this summer for a couple of teams. however, I’m a bit frustrated by my achilles again. so, we’ll see. but, through all of that I have “my guys”. Coaching boys in Lacrosse is am amazing experience. …more on that later, though. this is about almost everything else; a bigger picture, if you will. I must.

coaching (sports and in business, for that matter), of any sort, is another form of self-absorption. back when I was a volunteer fire fighter in Lousiville, Colorado, I found myself being interviewed by the local paper over some harrowing event. and, the reporter asked me,

“why do you put yourself in harms way when you don’t even get paid?”.

I looked at her, and probably a bit askance, and I offered, “are you kidding? I get to wear cool gear, ride backwards on fire trucks – and, I’m a FIRE MAN!”. I actually feel selfish and self-absorbed that I get to do this”. I told her how, that morning after the fire, as we rolled-out, there was a small group of young boys watching us from a street corner. there was awe in their faces. awe, and admiration. I gave them a wink and a thumbs-up, and I really did feel like a hero.

Lacrosse makes me feel that way. so, another possible post is around the concept of Braveheart.

but, it was the events of that life-changing day (a cool Colorado evening with the great promise of a rich and full life, and the leering wake-up call of an ugly death) that led me to my current career, in fact. but, that’s another story. certainly for another time (but, I need to make a note of it. hopefully one of you will remind me).

mind you, I get similar questions from the parents of kids I coach. such as, “why do you give these kids so much time?”, and, “how do you do this?”

I’m going to discuss that in the next couple of weeks. because there is a lot of good-and-bad, trials-and-tribulations mixed with that – balanced by an incredible sense of accomplishment and self-worth.

I love Lacrosse. I love my family. I love life. I love giving of myself. and, everything I’ve done with my life has brought me to a point where I feel I can make a great difference in the lives of the people God surrounds me with. okay… that strikes me as another blog post idea.

are you beginning to wonder what the hell this has to do with a squirrel?

well… this might come as a shock to some, but not necessarily others. Joanne will tell you, in no uncertain terms, that I am not often as sympathetic or compassionate as she feels I ought to be. I believe that trait in myself is valid and that comes from being raised by a military officer (my Dad) and also a Mom (the ideal officers wife and Mother) that were both convinced that doing anything is worth giving it everything you can. that’s something I teach all of my players, and it’s a driving philosophy in terms of how I manage myself by the hour with a higher sense of purpose and accompanying standards. but, sometimes… okay, often… really ALWAYS… I come across as exacting, uncompromising, certainly demanding, and clearly seemingly unsympathetic.

that was until I faced the squirrel.

I’m that guy that finds himself driving down a road and unconcerned if a squirrel frantically tries to evade tires. that’s an ugly image. but, it’s an obvious and practical reality. Joanne, on the other hand, will throw her car into another lane to save a squirrel, duck, dog, or deer.

but, about two weeks ago, as I was driving home from Lacrosse practice, as providence would have it, a hapless squirrel skittered across my path. I steeled myself and surprisingly managed to evade him, and found myself pleased by the result as I took a peak in my rear view mirror. “off to home and hearth, little fellow”, thought I.

not but a few days later was I facing the same challenge. and, the thought did, indeed, cross my mind that this could well be that same damn squirrel. I really did try to avoid the critter, but I felt the awful and final “thump” under my truck tire. instantly I was, myself, genuinely distraught. as I looked in the rear view mirror, to my horror I saw the squirrel flailing in the street. with my heart in my throat and a cold sweat on the back of my neck I slowed down. numbly I backed-up knowing I had to put the stricken creature out of it’s misery. and, the horror I experienced was comparable to Sarajevo.

when I got home Joanne and Haley Anne were in the midst of a fifteen-year-old-girl-issue. and, evidently Joanne was having a rowe with her own Mom and one of her sisters. as I listened to to the details of all that I found myself uncharacteristically engaged with a softening heart. there is a lot more going-on in my head and heart relative to all manner of venture, adventures and efforts. but, four days ago I told Joanne that a lens I wanted to start looking through life with in terms of how I related to people, ironically, would going to be about “honoring the squirrel”.

so, God has a whacky sense of humor, to be sure. he gave me and all my Southern California, Lacrosse-playing buddies daughters, for one thing. and, he throws us a curve-ball (some times they may look like a squirrel), to change-up our view(s) of the world. but, I don’t want to look back on my life and miss an opportunity to make sure that everyone I meet and know; that’s in my life, feels loved, valued – and there is compassion, possibly the option for compromise.

that’s it. you, collectively know, even the simplest of maxims’s must needs have its vociferous story attached (or affixed?) to it.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

Related posts:

1. I want to know what Love is
2. Soaring with the Hawks
3. My Daughters and Decisions
4. epic Lacrosse update
5. the 2012 My Princess Dance
6. converging paths
7. How Long Is Seven Days?
8. Haley Anne Update
9. Daughter Stuff: Haley Anne and Emma Jo Soccer Update
10. it's in the bag

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time certainly does fly, but all the more so when every Daddy grimly observes the ticking clock against the dreaded time his “little girl” lets go of his protective hand.

however, those fears can be reasonably set aside for the moment, because its that magical time of year, again. and, the 7th Annual – My Princess Dance is upon us! it is! so, mark your calendars! guard the date, and fiercely so! Saturday, February 18th at 630pm to 9pm at The Foundry at Puritan Hill. stand firm, goodly men, and register, here.

to be sure, you’ve read earlier stories on this Blog from last year, God gave me daughters. What did He give you?, Its time for a Princess to Dance!, the Princess and the me, and, investing in my daughters.

consider forging a few stories of your own.

I have three Princesses in my immediate family with the girl of my dreams at my side, and two daughters that I’m determined will realize their own.

I coach a good number of princesses in soccer. but, that is different. and, the stuff of other stories. you can always read about those adventures, here. now, I’m also coaching young lads in Lacrosse with the best hopes of influencing them to be gallant around any right Princess. more on all that, to be certain.

Haley Anne and I went to the first “Daddy/ Daughter Dance” six short years ago after a heads-up from Woody Faulk (a father of four girls of his own) let me know he would be hosting this inspiring event. it has quickly became an Atlanta-area tradition. Last year the event was renamed, and aptly so, “My Princess Dance,” and held at the InterContinental Hotel in Buckhead. More than five hundred fathers and daughters came to that My Princess Dance, and they are, and all of them, forever changed. complete with princesses, carriages, chocolate fountains, and a knighting ceremony, the evening was spectacular.

Haley Anne kicked me to the curb after seventh grade and I started taking Emma Jo to the dance. the experience has been brilliant for us all, and I’m keen to share it with any man that understands how important he is in the life of his daughter. I’m convinced this is a vital bond where God really trusts some of us with daughters. the anticipation builds with talks about pretty dresses and an afternoon getting hair and nails done (or, Mommy can certainly do that!). it’s dancing practice and perhaps a special dinner. then come the shared secrets and the memories that enchant a life-time realized in only the span of a few hours that leave us all the more excited about the next year.

the My Princess Dance is all about the importance of family by stopping the busy-ness of life, and spending time with those we love, and cherish, the most.

read more about My Princess Dance in this story, printed by the Atlanta-Journal Constitution: bit.ly/fLhOUt. do it!

and, then watch the video below for a sense of what is yet to come (sorry if it’s bleeding over on this blog page. it’s videos fault, and not mine own – yet, I’ll forgive almost anything that helps me share this wondrous event with you all.

peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

brian patrick cork

Related posts:

1. It’s time for a Princess to Dance!
2. the Princesses and the me
3. my own enchanted princess
4. investing in my daughters
5. I want to know what Love is
6. God gave me Daughters. What did He give You?
7. Soaring with the Hawks
8. My Daughters and Decisions
9. converging paths
10. showing Up

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