The Unsinkable brian cork™

Brian Patrick Cork is living the Authentic Life

God gave me Daughters. What did He give You?

January29

Matt Rosenhaft recently commented on our business Blog (its true… we have one of those. it’s simply not as much fun) [you’ll notice, perhaps, that I’m not even linking from this post to that business Blog] that:

“As for Brian, those of us who know him, know that he practices the “give to get” model religiously. It is the core of his being. At the same time, he runs a business so it would be natural to reference an example of something that he practices for himself in his business in his personal blog. His personal blog is about what he is thinking and his observations on life.”

Matt (whom defines Cerebral) [by the way… I like Matt, quite a bit] had a lot more in mind while crafting that comment than I’ll give him credit for in this post. The point I’m trying to affirm is that, what you read in my personal Blog, is what I’m thinking about. And, even though this preamble might have suggested I was building up to something meaningful, possibly significant, I’m not.

Today, it’s about that which should be obvious.

Tonight is the annual Daughters and Daddy Dance at the Intercontinental Hotel. This is a very big event in the Cork household. This is mostly about Emma Jo and myself (but, Mommy needs to help A LOT). The tradition includes a lot of excited discussion, planning, the weekend trip to the dress shop for a new dress, and accessories, the hair dressers (is that what’s it’s still called?), getting nails done, making sure Daddy wears a tie that matches the dress, buying shoes that can be taken off as soon as we hit the hotel ball room, etc.

For a few magical hours it’s all me and Emma Jo. I’m the center of her universe (and, she is the core of my own).

Many fathers speak of how quickly these times come and go. They mourn, often while the daughter is still very young, how they lost track, and how they failed to connect with their girls. I often discuss, on this Blog, how I feel God’s greatest gift to us is discernment. But, that discernment is often best utilized to enjoy an almost equal gift – which is having a little girl that absolutely adores you for no other reason than you have the absolute privilege of being her Daddy. Little boys are smelly. But, daughters are always Princesses. Well… At least in my house, always.

How many of you are reading this post, and there are thousands of you, and only now comprehending that you aren’t going to a Daughters and Daddy Dance?

Maybe it’s not too late.

Consider leveraging that discernment outside of business, and addressing your daughters. I promise you, the rewards will eclipse, by naught less than a HUGE margin, any satisfaction you realize from a business transaction, or a frakking round of golf.

By the way… I’m fairly confident that I know most of the Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus songs. And, I’m ready to dance to every single one of them this evening.

UPDATE: Read the comments of this post. Man… What a perspective. Thank you Gary, really.

Peace be to my Brothers and Sisters.

Brian Patrick Cork

7 Comments to

“God gave me Daughters. What did He give You?”

  1. Avatar January 29th, 2010 at 10:34 am Gary Says:

    God gave me a child with autism. Who is bullied mercilessly at school. Who must take drugs to stop his stimming long enough to hold a pencil. Who must take more drugs to try to mitigate his anxieties and depression. Who’s every day is a struggle to find some reason why he has to live the cruel life he lives.

    That’s what God gave me.


  2. Avatar January 29th, 2010 at 10:47 am Brian Patrick Cork Says:

    Hello Gary.

    And, welcome here.

    Also… Thank you for sharing this with me, and the readers of this Blog.

    That all represents a challenge I have little experience with.

    I don’t want to come across as trite with you. But, I immediately thought of something a friend, Robert Christiansen shared with me several years ago. His own son has severe mental retardation (it’s apparently a herculean, day-to-day struggle, and the whole family has to rally). But, Robert said to me: “God really trusts us to put that child in our hands”.

    I don’t know how that makes you feel. But, it might be true for you as well. When you look at your son, do you feel pain, joy, both? Are you angry? Possibly relieved that he is at least in your life?

    In any event, if you are any where near Alpharetta, please come find me. I’ll walk with you.

    Cork


  3. Avatar January 29th, 2010 at 12:28 pm Robert Christiansen Says:

    Hey, Brian! Yes, I remember our discussion. This may be a fine distinction, but John is not retarded. He is brain damaged because of the four craniotomies, the chemo therapy, radiation therapy and bone marrow transplant that he had to undergo to survive the brain tumor. But the point is well taken and you are to be commended for your prodigious memory . . . there is no question in mind that God gives us much as we can handle and He trusts us with His Precious Gifts . . . the Souls charged to our care while on Earth.


  4. Avatar January 29th, 2010 at 12:34 pm Brian Patrick Cork Says:

    Hello Robert.

    I’ll appreciate the correction along with the great tidings I feel in your response.

    I’m hoping to hear from Gary, with the hopes (if not determination) he won’t feel alone.

    we’re due for a chat. Call me at 404-451-4799.

    Cork


  5. Avatar January 31st, 2010 at 7:20 pm Gary Says:

    Brian,

    I received your email. Thank you.

    However, I don’t care to discuss mine or my son’s situation. It only stirs up the silt at the bottom of the pond.

    I apologize for having left my comment. I should have exercised more restraint. But sometimes I see people thanking an “all powerful and all loving” God and suggesting that I should do the same (or at least I feel as such), and I react. Such a God does not exist. I have the proof. But I know that I should keep such knowledge to myself, because there is no reality to which we can all agree. There is only perspective. And no one shares my perspective.

    Am I angry? You don’t know what angry is.

    So God trusted me with this child? For what? Simply to be the one to watch him self-loathe? I can’t help him. No matter how hard I try, I can’t help him. The psychiatrists can’t help him. The psychologists can’t help him. The neurologists, the therapists, the medical doctors, the drugs…it’s a never ending story of effort that only ends with pain and misery and humiliation.

    His – my son’s. All his.

    So there you have it. That’s what God gave these people, and Brian Cork can’t change that. It’s just how it is.

    I appreciate your extended hand, but you can’t help, and you can’t understand…and I won’t be back. I really just wanted to apologize for having left a comment I shouldn’t have left.

    Enjoy your daughters and tell them how much you love them. They were born with the the ability to appreciate, savor, and grow from those emotions.

    You consider yourself lucky.

    You should.


  6. Avatar January 31st, 2010 at 7:27 pm Brian Patrick Cork Says:

    I do Gary.

    And, I’m here. Any time.

    You have a friend in Alpharetta.

    And, my prayers. For what they’re worth at the moment. Because, you never know – until you do. Geez… That reads sappy. But, I mean it. I sure look for it.

    I’ve seen darkness like many others can’t imagine. But, that was pain for myself, and my wife, and friends. But, I’ve admittedly not suffered the pain you have as a father.

    Cork


  7. Avatar January 23rd, 2012 at 5:16 pm The Unsinkable brian cork™ » Blog Archive » the 2012 My Princess Dance Says:

    […] be sure, you’ve read earlier stories on this Blog from last year, God gave me daughters. What did He give you?, Its time for a Princess to Dance!, the Princess and the me, and, investing in my […]


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