The Unsinkable brian cork™

Brian Patrick Cork is living the Authentic Life

I Lied. I am a Felon

May24

I admit it… I Lied. So, Now I am a Felon (maybe this is a dissertation on irony).

In 2000 I pled guilty to securities fraud for crimes allegedly committed in Colorado.

Sometimes stories related to this matter pop up when you ‘Google’ my name. But, as I tap this post into existence also know that over ten thousand people follow my other blog daily. So, a lot more people are going to know this information about me soon. And, I think that’s a good thing.

For a while I tried to use this period from my life as ‘personal testimony’ to inspire other people. I have always asked that I be judged by the people that surround me today, and by the impact I am having daily in my community.

But, I don’t think I should do that any more because pleading guilty is what made me a liar.

I pled guilty because I thought it would make the problem go away faster. I reasoned (with bad advice from legal counsel) that I should just get the matter over with; I should focus on giving my family peace; and, that I could live with being a felon.

I was wrong.

Being a felon rips at my gut every day. I did not do the things I was accused of. I was the President of a wildly successful company that I started in 1993, that got into trouble – and, I never denied that.  And, I did take full responsibility for what happened. My partners created the problem, and one of them went to prison for it. But, I may have made it worse. I was the one that contacted the authorities. I essentially called-in an ‘air-strike’ on my own company once I realized rules had been broken. I was arrogant thinking I could fix the problem. I raised my hand in public and apologized, saying that I could rally my people and turn things around (it’s what a man of integrity is supposed to do, right?) – and, that was used against me.

By the time the dust was settling we had lost everything. I was almost penniless and exhausted. My family needed me to stop hating myself and fighting everyone. I love my family more than I love my self-image, and I needed to get back to work, and teach my children what a leader does by a completely different example.

Knowing what I do of the world today, I doubt I would have been found guilty. And, today, I can pass any background check.

Is that irony? Or, is that providence?

So, in moments of self-doubt I get a numb feeling in the pit of my stomach… I should have fought to the death. I just gave away my integrity to make things easier.

I deeply regret that action more than anything else.

Pleading guilty makes me a liar. And, that is a definition of irony.

All that said, life has it’s incredible twists-and-turns. In my darkest days, many good men that knew me in life and business rallied to me and gave me opportunities that have emerged into my current career-path. A Christian mentor once told me that, “God would never be pleased with [me] until I forgave myself”. However, I don’t want to forgive myself. That’s what Jesus scarified himself for. I need to remember. And, hold myself more accountable, and to a higher standard. Today, my life experience have proven contiguous and I am uniquely qualified to help the men around me make better decisions. So, each day… Every day… I am faced with a simple focus… To earn the trust and faith of my community. Life is thusly a lens. But, I just want people to “see” me for the man I am. And, most do. So, there is another great example of life’s irony, but also providence and the hope for grace.

Brian Patrick Cork

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4 Comments to

“I Lied. I am a Felon”

  1. Avatar April 2nd, 2009 at 12:08 pm JM Says:

    What you were guilty of was trusting the wrong people.

    JM


  2. Avatar July 7th, 2009 at 12:59 pm Steve Says:

    I was one of Brian’s investors. He never lied to anyone. He did good work earning a great reputation richly deserved.

    Steve


  3. Avatar December 29th, 2009 at 2:02 pm Rod R. Says:

    You are a good man Mr. Cork. I get to see what you’ve done with your life every day. Those actions and your transparency speak to your integrity and opportunity to be a great example in our community.

    Lead us.

    Rod


  4. Avatar August 27th, 2012 at 8:03 am The Unsinkable brian cork™ » Blog Archive » I hope God knows Lance Armstrong is a hero Says:

    [...] I won’t pretend, and not for a moment, that I am somehow on-par with Armstrong. What he accomplished as a professional athlete, and as a transformative champion against cancer are unequalled. my own athletic achievement, and what I attempt daily as a Dad, businessman, and youth coach will always be overshadowed by what happened to me in Colorado. [...]


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"What am I looking at?", you might wonder.

Lots of stuff.

Meanwhile, here, I discuss events, people and things in our world - and, my (hardly simplistic, albeit inarticulate) views around them.

You'll also learn things about, well, things, like people you need to know about, and information about companies you can't find anywhere else.

So, while I harangue the public in my not so gentle way, you will discover that I am fascinated by all things arcane, curious about those whom appear religious, love music, dabble in politics, loathe the media, value education, still think I am an athlete, and might offer a recipe.

All the while, striving mightily, and daily, to remain a prudent and optimistic gentleman - and, authentic.

brian cork by John Campbell





photos by John Campbell

 

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